April 22nd

As it really been this long since my last entry? My how time flies when you are scrambling to make ends meet. I have undergone a huge disappointment in the last week and unfortunately I have been rather depressed about it. I had applied to teach 4 courses on the campus where I have taught these courses before and was really excited about being in the classroom again. Unfortunately, I wasn't chosen to teach any of these classes. This was a huge shock since the union rules state that I should have received the contract for these courses. I have got to find a place to work that welcomes innovating teaching techniques! Sometimes it is really hard to stay focused on a vision and goal when people you have respected let you down. It has taken a lot of processing on my part to stay focused. As a scientist, I tend to look at 'failures' as just opportunities to see what went wrong and correct the procedure so that the experiment will work the next time. Thus, I am trying to figure out what went wrong with my teaching at the campus and figure out how to approach a similar situation in the future. I really miss teaching.

It is interesting how my eating behavior can reflect how I am feeling. I found myself going back to old habits of not wanting to eat in the morning and then wanting to eat all evening...but I caught myself as I started to do this and was able to stop the behavior. I realized it was just a reaction to the events in my life and this realization helped me separate the behavior from the feelings.

So I am still on course. But depression is not something that is easily overcome.

I did manage to have a lot of fun (and hard work) last weekend at the toastmaster's conference at which I was the audio/visual chairperson. I had so much fun making sure the microphones were working, the powerpoint slides were ready, the theme songs were ready and the videos were set. There were so many people! It was a blast! But, being an introvert by nature, I really needed Monday and Tuesday to be on my own and regain some energy.

Now I am working on a couple of new workshops that I think will really rock! One focuses on how to think 'outside the box' while still in the box. It will really help people to think differently than 'normal' so they can adjust and adapt to the economic times...how to become resourceful and have fun with it at the same time. The other workshop is focused on university/high school students and asks the question "why am I here"? It is focused on helping these incredible people to find their passion in life; how to get the most out of their 'education' and tells them the real reason they are in school.

The other workshop I am just starting to put together is one about this whole issue of a 'food guide' that actually makes sense from a scientific basis instead of what we have as the Canada Food Guide. It just makes me so angry to know that scientists have been proving for quite some time that our 'typical' diet is extremely unhealthy and that a healthy diet is really not all that difficult to manage. Especially when you think about what we are feeding very young children that will set them up for future health problems.

Anyway...I should get back to work...trying to scrape enough money together this month to pay the rent...being unemployed really sucks...although I am grateful for EI (without which I would be living on the streets...and I really don't want to go back there!).

Oh...and the grand total of weight loss in the first month was 16.8 pounds...thanks USANA!!!!!!